From the Head of School

Remembering Mrs. Shoemake and Supporting Our Community Through Love

Dear Clairbourn Families,

It is with profound sadness and a heavy heart that we share the news that our longtime Kindergarten teacher, Kris Shoemake, passed away last week.

Mrs. Shoemake was such a loving, nurturing, and steady presence in our school. Her warmth, patience, and dedication touched the lives of every child and family who walked through her classroom door. We know this news is sad for our community, especially for her former students who loved their teacher.

Because children process grief and loss differently at different ages, we want to support you and your child in navigating these conversations at home. Below, we have included some guidance and resources on how to talk to young children about death in a gentle and honest way.

Our school staff will also be here to support the children when they return to school and provide a happy and normal school routine. Our school counselors are also available on site if your child needs extra support.

Because Mrs. Shoemake was on leave, we had previously arranged for the class to be covered. As previously announced, we have a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Halim, who is prepared to be the lead teacher, so there will be no disruption of learning for the Kindergarten class.

Mrs. Shoemake’s family and our entire staff deeply appreciate your love, thoughts, and support during this difficult time.

Guidance on Sharing the News With Young Children

Young children have varying understandings of death. At this age, they often view death as temporary or reversible, so talking about it requires a very gentle, concrete, and honest approach.

Be clear, simple, and direct:
Avoid euphemisms like "passed away," "went to sleep," or "is lost," as these can confuse young children and make them fearful of going to sleep or getting lost. Instead, use clear words: "Mrs. Shoemake died. Her body stopped working, and she won't be returning to school."
Allow for emotional expression:
Children may cry, ask repetitive questions, or seem completely unfazed and immediately go back to playing. All of these reactions are normal. Play is how young children process big emotions.
Validate their feelings:
Let them know that it is okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or even mad. Share your own sadness simply, showing them that grief is a natural human emotion: "I am feeling very sad today because I miss her too."
Maintain routines:
Familiar routines provide comfort and security for young children during times of stress.

Resources for Parents

If parents are looking for extra guidance or children's books to read together at home, these standard, highly recommended resources can help:

Books for Young Children:
- The Invisible String by Patrice Karst (useful for discussing connections to loved ones who are no longer physically present).
- The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia (a gentle allegory about life and change).
- When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown (accessible and straightforward for young children).
Guidance for Parents:
- The National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement (schoolcrisiscenter.org) –
  Offers practical toolkits for helping children cope with grief and loss in a school community.
- The Dougy Center (dougy.org) –
  Provides exceptional, age-specific grief support guidelines for families and schools.

Please do not hesitate to reach out to us if you have any questions or if your family needs additional support.

With deepest sympathy,

Amy Patzlaff, EdD

Head of School

Remembering Mrs. Shoemake and Supporting Our Community Through Love

Guidance on Sharing the News With Young Children

Resources for Parents

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